Friday, April 06, 2007

Contest: My Crazy Congresswoman is Crazier Than Your Crazy Congresswoman

By William Prendergast

Here's a piece I'm going to send in to the Daily Kos and Diatribune blogs today.

When I write in to the Kos about what's going on with Michele Bachmann, I use the words "My Crazy Congresswoman" in the header, and some readers have complained. They think I'm being presumptuous, that their congresswoman is crazier.

OH, YEAH? Wait til they read this:

..Even without knowing who these other congresswomen are and what they’ve said and done, I think my Congresswoman is crazier. I think I can demonstrate that Michele is nuttier than anybody now serving in the House of Representatives, and I can prove it.

So I’m throwing down the gauntlet. If you’ve got a congresswoman who’s crazier than Michele—show me. I don’t pretend to know everything about everyone in the House; you think you’ve got someone representing you who’s crazier than the nut who’s representing me: prove it. Write in here with the name, give me some facts to back it up. Convince me.

But I’m warning you: if you set out to try and prove that your Rep is crazier than Michele--you’ve picked a tough row to hoe, chief. Because, for starters:

1) My congresswoman claims that God told her to run for Congress. She also claimed that God told her to run for the State Senate back in 2000. She also claims that God sent her a vision (while she was praying “in the spirit”) of the man she was going to marry. And that God told her to go to college. And that God told her to go to law school. And that God told her to study tax law. (It’s all on YouTube.)

2) My congresswoman, Michele Bachmann, is the one who put her hands on the President on the United States as he made his way out of this year’s State on the Union Speech, and wouldn’t let go of him until he gave her a big kiss. Yes, that was her.

3) My congresswoman told a major Minnesota newspaper that there was already in existence an agreement to partition Iraq with Iran and found a new terrorist safe haven state in the northern and western part of Iraq. When she was called out on it, she admitted there was and is no such agreement in existence. After the story made national headlines, she claimed she was a conservative victim of media bias.

4) During her campaign for Congress, she said that Terry Schiavo was in good health when her life support system was turned off.

5) During her campaign for Congress, she said that there were several Nobel prize winning scientists who believed in “intelligent design” creationism.

6) During a 2004 radio interview on the program “Prophetic Views In the News” (note the name of the show) Bachmann said: “We’re in a state of crisis where our nation is literally ripping apart at the seams right now, and lawlessness is occurring from one ocean to the other. And we’re seeing the fulfillment of the Book of Judges here in our own time, where every man doing that which is right in his own eyes—in other words, anarchy.”

7) On what will happen if her same-sex marriage ban amendment fails to pass in 2004: Bachmann: “It isn’t that some gay will get some rights. It’s that everyone else in our state will lose rights. For instance, parents will lose the right to protect and direct the upbringing of their children. Because our K-12 public school system, of which ninety per cent of all youth are in the public school system, they will be required to learn that homosexuality is normal, equal and perhaps you should try it. And that will occur immediately, that all schools will begin teaching homosexuality.”

Bachmann: “The sex curriculum will be essentially by taught by the local gay community.”

Bachmann: “And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”

8) Explaining why teaching tolerance for American gays is wrong:

Bachmann: “You have a teacher talking about his gayness. (The elementary school student) goes home then and says “Mom! What’s gayness? We had a teacher talking about this today.” The mother says “Well, that’s when a man likes other men, and they don’t like girls.” The boy’s eight. He’s thinking, “Hmm. I don’t like girls. I like boys. Maybe I’m gay.” And you think, “Oh, that’s, that’s way out there. The kid isn’t gonna think that.” Are you kidding? That happens all the time. You don’t think that this is intentional, the message that’s being given to these kids? That’s child abuse.”

9) On education reforms laws (School To Work, Goals 2000, etc.) passed by the GOP-controlled US Congress:

Bachmann: “Federal law forms a new governance structure that opposes both free enterprise and representative government…A new national curriculum is used that embraces a socialist, globalist worldview; loyalty to all government and not America.”

(She was serving as a Minnesota State Senator when she made that accusation.)

“Goals 2000, of which we’ve heard quite a bit, is a partnership between government and your local public schools to radically transform and change our public education system, as you’ve learned today, to train children to accept not freedom, but to accept and anticipate government central planning of our economy and our way of life.” — Senator Michele Bachmann, EdWatch conference, October 10-11, 2003.

10) On whether conservative GOP Governor Tim Pawlenty and Minnesota elected officials are restructuring school curriculum to replace a free market economy with a state-controlled economy:

"I don’t believe for a minute our elected officials want that. But you know what? Everything that I read, all the documents, point otherwise."

Okay, how’s that for starters? And you say you can top THIS? You say you’ve got somebody nuttier than this representing YOU? This I gotta see. Let’s hear about her, name her and put her nuttiest stuff in the comments thread.

(By the way—this is not about sex (gender.) If you have a congressMAN who’s nuttier than Michele--you can play, too. But you still have to convince me. Maybe between us we can figure out who’s the biggest nut in Congress right now. I say it’s Michele.)



At 1:20 AM, Blogger Chris Truscott said...

You win.

She's crazier than John Kline.

At 2:23 PM, Blogger Prendergast said...

I always win this contest.

But let's see what happens after we take it to "the nationals" on the Kos and Diatribune blogs. Mayber there's someone in Congress who's nuttier than Bachmann, someone who shows up in a Napoleon outfit or "shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die."


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