But There's Good News For Bush, Too--Oh Wait, There's Not...
by William Prendergast
On May 19, the Associated Press catalogued yet another rotten week for the Bush administration.
The administration caved on supporting Wolfowitz and he was dragged away from his desk at the World Bank in the wake of a corruption charge. The humiliating search for a volunteer “war czar” ended when they settled for a three star general after all the four stars declined to play the fall guy. Democrats roasted Bush’s choice of a lobbyist for manufacturers at the helm of the Consumer Product Safety Commision, the agency in charge of recalls (“I nominate this fox to guard the hen-house.”) Iraq war fan Tony Blair goes overboard; his successor Gordon Brown has already announced that there are going to be some big changes around here, re: Iraq, I can jolly well tell you that!
And the “Gonzales should resign thing”—that was supposed to be over, but the revelations about Gonzo’s midnight trip to Ashcroft’s sickbed to convince him to ignore the Constitution revived that. And now Republican stalwart Arlen Spector is calling for Gonzo’s head, pushing for an historic “no confidence vote.” (Even my Senator, the deplorable Norm Coleman, R-MN, is calling for Gonzales to step down—and Coleman was Bush’s campaign chair in Minnesota!)
What a week! Not the worst one ever for Bush--but fuckin’ bad! Still, the AP writer opined, there was good news for the sinking Bush admin—there was the immigration issue! Look what the reporter wrote in the same article of May 19, 2007:
Bush Ends Week On High Note
…But the past week did bring one very good piece of news: Talks on an immigration overhaul produced a deal between the Bush administration and a bipartisan group of senators. The agreement fed hopes the president might achieve a long-sought goal and see his second term produce a significant domestic accomplishment. (Boy, that would be something…)
An elated White House threw everything it had at Thursday's immigration breakthrough. (And who could blame them? “I met a girl who sang the blues/and I asked her for some happy news…”)
It rushed out a Bush statement that celebrated the complicated compromise as containing everything the president most wanted. (“Everything the President always wanted, did you here that? Get the press down here!”) "A much-needed solution to the problem of illegal immigration," he called it. In case Bush's glee was not clear on paper, he came to the South Lawn 90 minutes later to make a statement before television cameras. (“Glee! Some much needed glee, at last! Is everyone recording this? Have they got us celebrating this bi-partisan triumph? My fellow Americans, as you know I have long sought this bipartisan triumph which proves once and for all that I am uniter, not a divider, and I can now confidentally state, as the world watches, that—“)
ERrrrRRK!—The needle skips over the surface of the triumphal music phonograph record, scratching up the melody! For no sooner has the President announced his triumph on this issue, than the whole immigration reform bill breaks down into shit, as does everything this President touches!
He thought it was a done deal, like the Dubai ports thing, and it blew up in his face like a fecal IED! Dems damn the bill (“It creates second-class citizens in the United States, it separates families, you jackass!”), the GOP conservatives and xenophobes howl it down (“You want to legalize twelve million people with swarthy skins who are going to vote Democratic, you jackass?”)
“Doh!” says the President, and runs back inside the White House, holding his hat in front of his face. Even Rush Limbaugh’s bitch, Sen. Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, is yelling at him. “Finished by Memorial Day? Memorial Day, Schmemorial Day! Dream on, Mr. Polling-Thirty-Two-Per-Cent-ident! The GOP is not going down on you on the immigration issue just so you can feel better about last week--Bush Boy!”
Here’s the FOX blurb:
A tough week, indeed!