Saturday, May 26, 2007

I Wrote This After Interacting With Naderizers On The Daily Kos Blog

Bill: Today I am ceding my space here. In the interest of fairness and equal time, today’s entry will be written by Sinead Naderizer, who supports Naderizing the Democrats (i.e. not voting them back into power next election because they “sold us out” on the Iraq war issue.)

And so now it’s over to you, Sinead:

Naderizer: Thank you, Bill, you spineless hack lackey messenger boy for the sell-out corporatist Democratic party of secretly-planning-to-keep-the-conservatives-in-power. And thank you for this opportunity to address other like-minded individuals here in this, your personal Kos forum, you spineless ignorant deluded whore.

Bill: You’re welcome.

Naderizer: (to crowd) People—we all know that the Democratic Party has always claimed that it has been about one thing and one thing only—ending the war in Iraq, right now. In May of this year--they betrayed us on this, the only issue that exists in the universe.

I have become convinced that Senator Reid and Speaker Pelosi are triangulating with Republican conservatives, intentionally splitting their own party so that real anti-war liberals and progressives will be weakened. Yes, I am actually making such an argument in public.

It’s all a big conspiracy to disaffect and drive out people who truly want to end the war, so that conservatives can keep on prosecuting the war. And the only way to respond to this scheme is to do exactly what I am accusing them of wanting us to do—to leave off supporting the Democratic Party and thus return the political initiative to the conservatives who engineered this war in the first place and want to start even more and bigger wars.

(Cheers from crowd.)

Naderizer: Here is our plan. Some of us will stay home and sit on our hands at election time, a gesture of civil disobedience. The rest of us will form third parties to split the Dem vote. These parties will be organized around principles, like the new “Curse the Democrats Party” and the “We Failed to Learn the Lessons of the Chicago ’68 Convention Party.” And we’re going to wear earrings and ponytails, so that people will know that we’re rebels, like in the early nineties. I mean, the boys will wear earrings and ponytails. The girls can shave their heads. That will teach the Democrats. To see their daughters come home with shaved heads into their middle class living rooms one night! HA HA HA! We don’t care. We’re the rebels of the political process. We, and only we, see the truth—--things as they really are. We see right through the hypocrisy, cowardice and continue-the-war-forever plan of the Democrats. By the way: did you know that lots of Democrats really do take money from corporations?

(Shocked gasp from the crowd.)

Naderizer: IT’S TRUE! I didn’t want to spring that bombshell on ya, but I just found out myself. Thus, no Democrat is worth voting for. They’re real dicks, man. And so are you, if you vote for them or point out that they don’t have the political strength to both end the war this year *and* keep conservative Republicans out of power after the 2008 elections. If you point that out, you *will* be called a dick.

So I am proposing that we bolt, now, and form a party to nominate candidates that will tell us exactly what we want to hear. No, they will not win office anywhere except maybe Berkeley—but they can delude enough people to ensure that GOP candidates will be elected to replace spineless Democrats. And then we are all sure to be happier, with GOP conservatives back in power, and the Dems punished for being so spineless. HAW HAW!

Crowd: HAW HAW! That will teach them not to ignore us. That is the purpose of politics, to get revenge on people who ignore our wishes. So we will marginalize ourselves.

Naderizer: And not only that, we will alienate the center--which is mythical@! And don’t worry about us ending up trying to occupy Iran, or a draft being imposed, or the next nomination to a vacant Supreme Court seat leading to a significant modification of Roe v. Wade—that shit could never happen! That’s just sell-out corporate liberals trying to SCARE us.

Crowd: Yeah! That stuff could never happen! The mood of the country is anti-war and always will be, even if there’s another terrorist attack on American soil. That will never happen, and if it does, it will not change the political calculus.

Naderizer: That’s right. Ignore the power of the evangelical right and the fact that the Republicans can raise $400 million to re-elect that right wing Republican moron without even breaking a sweat. Forget about the three million votes that put Bush back in the White House; those people are all on our side, now—you can count on it. And always bear in mind: there is no difference between conservative Republicans and liberal Democrats. On any issues. This last vote in Congress proves that the Nader voters who told us that were right. They were right in 2000, when they passed up a chance to put Al Gore in the White House and we ended up with--- well anyway, thank you. And stay pissed off—it makes all the difference, because the GOP is often willing to send money to pissed off splitters.

Thank you, and God bless America, and goddamn the Democrats.

(Thunderous applause.)

Bill: Thank you, Sinead.

Sinead: Blow me. It’s people like you that are the problem, Bill. And you’re mean-spirited, too.



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