Sunday, October 05, 2003

Rush Limbaugh’s Been Hooked on Drugs Since 1998?

Rush Limbaugh is on drugs!

Rush has been hooked on illegal drugs for at least four years, at least since 1998!
All this time we were listening to him, the man’s been out of his mind on drugs! America’s foremost conservative! Wasted! Baked to a crisp!

Limbaugh’s former housekeeper has told Florida prosecutors that for years she has been supplying him with hundreds of thousands of illegal painkillers—hydrocodone, Lorcet, and Oxycontin. She says that during one four-month period alone, Rush bought 11,900 pills from her!

America’s conservatives will now have to face up to the fact they have spent years following the advice of a man who is out of his mind on drugs!

All the time he was covering the Clinton-Lewinsky affair, and accusing the Clintons of complicity in murders, and howling for Clinton’s impeachment—He was getting’ high! He was ‘wack’ on ‘painkiller crack’! And we were all saying that Rush speaks for us!

Wack! On the ‘painkiller crack’!

Rush had to go to de-tox to save his life! Twice! Who knew? Why didn’t he tell us? Why didn’t he ask for help? He was meeting his dealers at the parking lot at Denny’s or at the Amoco gas station, in the middle of the night--so he could give them a cigar box full of ‘cabbage’ (that’s Rush’s drug slang for money) in exchange for a cigar box full of—‘hillbilly heroin’!

And other drugs! “Enough to kill an elephant!” says his dealer. He was doing so many drugs, the dealer was worried about him! That’s a lot of drugs. And the dealer also says that in spite of all the cash payments--to this day, Rush still owes her $80,000—for drugs! Illegal, addictive drugs!

For years, Rush fans thought they were tuning in to hear their hero articulate the conservative philosophy in his own inimitable, outrageous way—but all that time what they’ve actually been listening to are the paranoid fantasies of a confirmed drughead!

The man was a berserker! A hopped-up pill-popper! And we’ve been taking his advice on politics? We’ve been taking his ‘marching orders’ on how to vote? He’s been hailed by the right as the foremost conservative in America? He’s been made an honorary member of the Republican Congress? What does that say about us? What does that say about conservatism as a political philosophy?

What does that tell you about your political thinking, if your chief advisor, ideologue and spokesman is taking an average of ninety three pills filled with illegal narcotics--every day? (The dealer’s ledger shows that in the first 47 days she delivered drugs to Limbaugh, she delivered 4,350 (sic) pills.)

Drugs affect your brain, you know. Popping ninety three pills a day; that’s got to mess you up, man. It’s gonna change your behaviors; you’ll go around blabbing nonsense to anyone who’ll listen, going on and on about fantasy, delusions of grandeur, the whole bit. It’s sad. And because he’s a hero to so many Republicans, you know that those drug-induced behaviors are going to be unconsciously imitated by Rush’s fans—especially those in Congress—and the White House. A lot of behaviors by conservatives in office that made no sense to us before suddenly make sense now!

I am not suggesting that the conservatives in the White House and Congress are on drugs, too. (Although—after Rush, who can say? Maybe we should require some kind of urine test at the Republican Convention, next year.)

What I am suggesting is that many of the behaviors we’ve observed recently among conservatives are like those of people who have a drug problem, and that these behaviors have probably been adopted by conservatives in unconscious imitation of their totally baked hero, Rush Limbaugh. The Republican Congress’ out-of-control spending habits, the President’s outbreaks of paranoia and irrational violence, the lies, the constant need for ‘more money, more money’—all classic drug addict behaviors, carried out by the conservatives in unwitting imitation of their drug-addled hero.

Maybe now that Rush got ‘narked’ on, the other Republicans will clean up their act.

My sympathy goes out to Rush and his wife. Let’s hope that the Biased Liberal Media’s coverage of this tragic story is fair; that they don’t go wall-to-wall with lurid hourly updates on this and drag it out for months, like they did with the O.J. trial.

Or like Rush did with the Lewinsky story.

Why do you think they call it ‘dope’, Rush? Why do you think they call him ‘Rush’?

William Prendergast is the author of the crime thriller “Forbidden Hollywood” and he doesn’t want you doin’ that stuff, man, because he loves you, man. Increase the peace.


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