News Analysis: GOP Congressman Pleads Guilty in Abramoff Scandal

Rep Bob Ney agrees to plead guilty
September 15, 2006

WASHINGTON - Rep. Bob Ney agreed Friday to plead guilty to two criminal charges in the congressional corruption probe spawned by disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff... After months of stoutly denying wrongdoing, Ney signed a formal plea agreement that outlined charges of conspiracy and making false statements by not disclosing gifts he received from Abramoff on financial disclosure forms required by Congress.

NEWS ANALYSIS: Look at that toup he's wearing in the picture. That's gotta be a toup, and it's got to be the worst toup I've ever seen on any elected official, anywhere. Who does he think he's kidding? Look at his face, then look at the "hair" that he's mounted over that face. Do the two even go together? The face looks about sixty two, the hair is supposed to be that of a thirty year old Kennedy.

That's disgraceful. This guy is what they call a "first degree rug offender." This a first degree "rug offense." Possession (of a really bad rug), and intent to distribute, via this photo and other public appearances in that ridiculous rug.

It's gotta be a rug. That can't be his real hair-who has hair like that, in real life? Church-going California surfers, maybe. It doesn't even look like real human hair was used to make his goddamn rug. It was probably made out of papyrus fibers or reeds or something, and then woven by child laborers in some third world country--and this is the result. Prison!

And it serves him right. Forget the Abramoff thing, they should send this guy to jail just for wearing that awful rug.