Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Pray for the blogger, Bill Prendergast

How long, Oh Lord? How long?

What have I done wrong? How have I offended Thee?

Why, why hast Thou given me this political representation?

I have two homes, one is in the Sixth Congressional district of Minnesota. The other is in New Orleans.

My congresswoman in Minnesota is a fundamentalist GOP nut, Michele Bachmann--a staunch proponent of Bush, the Iraq war, and the surge. She just returned from a one day tour of Iraq, claiming the surge needs time to work, after she spent the entire day inside the US embassy in Baghdad’s Green Zone—which was under mortar attack during her visit. Four years after we “captured Baghdad,” she spent her day there wearing full body armor and a Kevlar helmet under mortar fire in what is supposed to be the most secure spot in Iraq—and she concludes that it’s too early to say whether or not Bush’s escalation is improving the security situation. (She hopped on a plane home that same day; she’s crazy, not stupid.)

In Louisiana, my Congressman is Democrat “Cold Cash” Jefferson, the guy who the feds busted with $90,000 dollars in cash stashed in Tupperware in his freezer. He was recently rated the least influential member of Congress—a definite minus for the citizens of a city depopulated and reeling from the biggest urban natural disaster in U.S. history.

And now we got my Senator, David Vitter, another GOP stalwart. Look at this:

Senator's number on escort service list

By DOUGLASS K. DANIEL, Associated Press Writer 45 minutes ago

WASHINGTON - Sen. David Vitter, R-La., apologized Monday night for "a very serious sin in my past" after his telephone number appeared among those associated with an escort service operated by the so-called "D.C. Madam."

Vitter's spokesman, Joel Digrado, confirmed the statement in an e-mail sent to The Associated Press.

"This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible," Vitter said in the statement. "Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there — with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way."

He’s saying “God, forgive me for cheating on my wife with a prostitute”; just a couple of years back he was saying “God, I could really use a handjob.”

Did you catch that, in the quote? He said “several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife.” Now, I can understand how you can claim, truthfully, that you “asked for and received” forgiveness from your wife. She screams, maybe punches you a few times, you say “I swear I’ll never, never do it again”, she forgives you (if you’re lucky) and bingo! You’ve asked for and received forgiveness. You’re home free, Vitter.

But how the hell can anyone claim publicly that he’s asked for and received forgiveness from God? What, did God send you a note, or something? “That’s okay, my Son, I understand, it was just a handjob, you were horny. I forgive thee, thou art representing the party of family values. But next time don’t call the escort service from thine own phone, schmuck.”

God doesn’t send out notes like that. It’s too bad He doesn’t (it would really help if you could show a note like that when you’re asking for forgiveness from the wife, too.) But He doesn’t. So Vitter can’t claim that it’s a fact that he “asked for and received God’s forgiveness,” and his wife will tell you what his word’s worth; it’s worth the same as his wedding vow.

It would be different if Vitter claimed that he had actually received a vision from God, one in which God appeared to him and forgave him in person. (My Minnesota Congresswoman, Bachmann *does* claim that she gets visions from God. Yes, she really does, we have her claiming that on tape, you can see it on YouTube.) But right now, all we have is Vitter’s word for it that God forgave him for the Dial-a-Hoe thing.

Silas Lee, a political analyst and pollster in New Orleans, spoke Monday about the possible political impact on Vitter.

"In the short term, I think the issue will dominate the discourse for a few days and weeks, and though he's up for re-election in 2010, it should dissipate by then," Lee told WWL-TV in New Orleans.

"But for some of his very conservative constituents, it might not be as easy. In their mind and eyes, they may not be able to forgive. The majority may overlook it in time depending on his job performance and how sincere voters believe he wants them to forgive him."

What, so Vitter’s career prospects are the problem here? He’s the one with the problem? How about us? What are we, the “Job” constituency, that we have to suffer through political representation like this?

And I love how this political analyst says this whole thing’s gonna blow over in a few weeks. He must be drinkin’. Are you kidding me? This is New Orleans; when you do something like Vitter did, they make a twenty-five foot float about the incident for Mardi Gras and put it in a parade! They pull it through the streets of the French Quarter all night with a team of donkeys! You can already see it: a ten-foot statue of Vitter, cell phone in hand, standing by a twenty foot motel room bed, with an eight foot prostitute putting her pantyhose back on, and a twenty foot statue of God, presiding over all, saying “I forgive you, Dave” in a Biblical font.

How long, Oh Lord... How long...



At 10:55 AM, Anonymous Eric said...

Speaking of your home in Minnesota, have you been keeping up with the District 834 school board? Would you consider running?

At 10:45 PM, Blogger Prendergast said...

I have been reading about the adventures of the school board in the Gazette and the Courier. You've got to call me for an answer to that second question, eric. This lunatic parody blog is no place for anyone to launch a serious campaign.

At 12:13 PM, Blogger lloydletta said...

It is indeed ironic that you have wacked out reps both your homes. Great post. I needed a good laugh.


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