Thursday, April 20, 2006

Theater: How Does An Artist Cope With A Crisis?

Well, there was a lot of good juicy stuff coming out of Washington that would have made great material for the blog. But I'm too busy; all that will have to wait til next Monday.

Because my new play is going to open tomorrow night in New Orleans and the director comes up to me tonight and tells me that the air conditioning in the theater has broken. In sweltering New Orleans. Hmm, what would Shakespeare have done?

I don't know, but what I ended up doing (as others scrambled to fix the air conditioning)was write a whole new bunch of "my dick is so big" jokes that I am now going to pass along to you, the readers of this blog, at no extra charge. It calms me down.

-My dick is so big that it has valet parking.

-My dick is so big it had to be continued on the next dick.

-My dick is so big that if I whip it out this whole room will turn pink.

-My dick is so big that no one will care if the air conditioning in the theater isn't working.

-My dick is so big that it sleeps in the bedroom and I have to sleep out on the couch.

-My dick is so big that it's represented in Congress.

-My dick is so big it has a "no smoking" section.

-My dick is so big that when I get a hard-on it rises in the east and sets in the west.

-My dick is so big that I have to fly Economy AND First Class.

-My dick is so big that it has to manufacture its own license plates.

-My dick is so big I get to park in the handicapped space.

-My dick is so big that I met it coming the other way down the street yesterday.

-My dick is so big, my urologist has to ride a motorcycle.

-My dick is so big that it's not taking my phone calls anymore.

-My dick is so big... (and here you make a physical gesture by spreadind your arms, indicating that your dick is "so big." (This is a pun on the phrase "so big."))


At 9:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wise advice. I'll keep that in mind (of my own, I mean).

At 3:45 PM, Blogger Stillwater Infidel aka NSA said...

Will there be a podcast available?

How about a soundtrack? Thanks I'll be here all week...

At 12:22 AM, Blogger Prendergast said...

shoot. I didn't consider the podcast angle. maybe I can record some of the follow-up performances and put them up here, somehow.
the show opened tonight. the skinny is: it went over big. big laughs, great cast. we had a newspaper critic in the house; hope he liked it as much as the audience. feel free to use the "my dick is so big jokes" until I get you guys the full details.

At 1:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How's the play doing?

At 1:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

how's the play doing? We did three nights, the scheduled performances. Big laughs from the audiences, despite the fact that it was a studio production (ie, not a full production, suggested props and sets only.) The lead players and character actors did a fine job, especially given the fact they only got two days full rehearsal. They hit all their laughs and the crowds loved them, despite the fact that the air conditioning wasn't working right. We are going to try and put on a full production in the fall, but that depends on the critical reaction and the city's situation after the next hurricane season. a critic from the Times-Picayune attended opening night--we will see what he thinks.


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