Poll Results: Don't Give Dynamite to Monkeys
Well, it looks like we aren’t going to attack Iran this week.
About a month back, there was a big hub-bub about whether or not the President was going to try to distract folks from his domestic policy failures and the murderous malaise in Iraq by expanding the war into Iran.
Apparently he decided that this was not the solution to his problems in the polls--but who knows what any conservative will do next month? It’s like predicting what a chimpanzee will do if you give him a hammer and a bunch of dynamite sticks; there’s no way to tell. Only one thing is for sure—it’s a baaaad idea to give a chimpanzee a hammer and a bunch of dynamite sticks.
Still, our readers will express their opinions. A recent poll by the Stillwater Tribune indicated that eleven per cent of our readers thought we should attack Iran anyway because now the Bush administration has ensured that the crucial “element of surprise” is on our side.
Twenty-two per cent of those polled would not answer the question unless they were first told whether they personally would have to participate in the proposed war.
Another twenty-two per cent said it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks because Bush is going to do what Cheney and Rumsfeld tell him to do anyway.
An astonishing forty-four per cent of participants thought we should attack Norway instead of Iran. They believe that an attack on Norway would be just as effective as an attack on Iran in preventing future terrorism, and besides we know we can kick their Norwegian asses.
Remember to celebrate Memorial Day. We now have about 2,460 new reasons to commemorate it.