Friday, November 03, 2006

Science: GOP Property Taxes Rocket--LIFTOFF



Captain's log, Star date,
just before Election Day, 2006:

All systems are go!
10...9...8...7...
6...5...4...3...2...
(what comes after--
oh yeah--) 1!

LIFTOFF!

The GOP Property Taxes Rocket is go! Go! Go! WHOOOSH! VRRRRRROOOOOMMM!

There it goes! Yaaay!

Weeks in the making, the first successful launch by PASA (Prendergast Aeronautics and Space Administration)--designed to hurtle at speeds up to fifty-five miles an hour across our crumbling state roads!

Street-legal! I'm driving this around Stillwater, Woodbury, Oak Park Heights, up and down our local spaceways at lite-speed! WHEEEEE!

This...is the G.O.P. Property Tax Rocket. Its five day mission--to inform, to seek out intelligent life, so that they won't vote for a bunch of idiots who keep taking the tax burden off the rich and putting it squarely on the backs of people who work for a living...

Some people honk the horn, some stare in disbelief, some smile, some just give the finger. But I pay no heed, I just turn up the theme from Star Trek and hurtle onwards. Through strip mall and past farmland, ignoring the disbelieving stares of the livestock and Republican voters.

Their eyes glaze over as the rocket's red glare reminds them of the skyrocketing property tax hikes they've taken since their local GOP representatives voted to cut the state taxes of the multimillionaires--which meant cuts in Local Government Aid to their municipalities--which meant that your property taxes and school levy price tag have gone:

UP! UP! UP!

TO THE MOON!

IF THE G.O.P. IS RE ELECTED IN THE ST. CROIX VALLEY, OUR PROPERTY TAXES WILL GO--TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!

WHOOSH!

6 Comments:

At 2:11 PM, Anonymous CLT said...

I saw the rocket this morning while driving in downtown Stillwater! What a hoot! Maybe the papers will pick it up!

 
At 2:34 PM, Blogger Prendergast said...

They'd be fools to ignore it!

VRRRRROOOOOM!

 
At 7:11 PM, Anonymous Chazz said...

Hi Bill!

Is the awezuume point on your head natural, or did some doctor like kustumize for you?

I'm 13 and play drumz in a band called the Flaming Poindexters (kewl huh) and we all think the point on yur head rocks!

When I have a kid I'm gonna smoosh his head so that he dont have to pay for kustumize later.

gotta slide now see ya laterz!

 
At 8:23 PM, Blogger Prendergast said...

You know how much I PAID for that haircut, you little punk? Get on your skateboard and beat it, before I tug on your nose-ring and make you cry.

Point on my head, indeed.

 
At 4:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rocket maaaannnn...

 
At 5:50 PM, Blogger Prendergast said...

Rocket Maaaaaan...
Burnin' out a fuse up here alone...

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids...
In fact it's cold as hell

And there's no there TOOOOO raise them... if you did...

And all the science...I don't understand...It's just my job five days a week...

A Rocket MAA-AAAH-AAAH-AN...

...a Rocket Man...

 

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