Science: GOP Property Taxes Rocket--LIFTOFF
Captain's log, Star date,
just before Election Day, 2006:
All systems are go!
(what comes after--
oh yeah--) 1!
The GOP Property Taxes Rocket is go! Go! Go! WHOOOSH! VRRRRRROOOOOMMM!
There it goes! Yaaay!
Weeks in the making, the first successful launch by PASA (Prendergast Aeronautics and Space Administration)--designed to hurtle at speeds up to fifty-five miles an hour across our crumbling state roads!
Street-legal! I'm driving this around Stillwater, Woodbury, Oak Park Heights, up and down our local spaceways at lite-speed! WHEEEEE!
This...is the G.O.P. Property Tax Rocket. Its five day mission--to inform, to seek out intelligent life, so that they won't vote for a bunch of idiots who keep taking the tax burden off the rich and putting it squarely on the backs of people who work for a living...
Some people honk the horn, some stare in disbelief, some smile, some just give the finger. But I pay no heed, I just turn up the theme from Star Trek and hurtle onwards. Through strip mall and past farmland, ignoring the disbelieving stares of the livestock and Republican voters.
Their eyes glaze over as the rocket's red glare reminds them of the skyrocketing property tax hikes they've taken since their local GOP representatives voted to cut the state taxes of the multimillionaires--which meant cuts in Local Government Aid to their municipalities--which meant that your property taxes and school levy price tag have gone:
UP! UP! UP!
TO THE MOON!
IF THE G.O.P. IS RE ELECTED IN THE ST. CROIX VALLEY, OUR PROPERTY TAXES WILL GO--TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!