Republicans: "You say you got a bomb strapped to you and a $500 contribution? Then welcome to the GOP!"
Here's the article:
Alleged terrorist financier was donor to Republican Party
WASHINGTON: A man charged with trying to help terrorists in Afghanistan has donated some $15,000 to the campaign committee of Republicans in the House of Representatives, and a resume in his name indicates various other links to the party.
From April 2002 until August 2004, (Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari,) also known as "Michael Mixon," gave donations ranging from $500 to $5,000 to the National Republican Congressional Committee, according to Federal Election Commission reports…
…( A resume listed in his name) says that in 2003 Alishtari was named a National Republican Senatorial Committee "Inner Circle Member for Life" and was appointed to the NRCC's "White House Business Advisory Committee."
…The NRCC did not immediately return a phone message seeking comment Tuesday about Alishtari's apparent connections to the party.
The 2007 resume identifies (Alishtari/“Michael Mixon”) as the founder of IDPixie LLC, which is described as an "ID theft protection agency."
In an indictment last week, the government said Alishtari accepted an unspecified amount of money to transfer $152,000 to Pakistan and Afghanistan to support a terrorist training camp in Afghanistan.
SCENE: A townhouse in Washington, D.C. near K Street. A National Republican Congressional Committee “We’d Like To Get To Know You” cocktail party is in progress. The main hall is filled with GOP big wigs and conservative celebrities, big money donors. Buffet, open bar, crystal chandeliers, metal detector at front door. Two Republican insiders are talking over drinks:
--You know who I’d like to see go up against Hillary. Newt. That would get the talk radio guys back in line.
--I don’t know. Newt’s burned a lot of bridges behind him.
--Yeah, but he’s still a great attack dog, and that’s what the rank-and-file respect. (sips) Whoa! These are cottonmouth martinis.
--Yeah, you better watch yourself with those. Hey…who’s that guy?
--That guy over there…
--The one in the turban and the robes, shaking hands with Dick Cheney…
--Him? Oh, that’s Michael Mixon. You never met Mike?
--I think I’d remember him if I saw him before. He doesn’t look like a “Michael Mixon”, he looks more like an “Abdul” or something.
--No, he says he’s Irish. He’s in the party. Strictly GOP, big Ronald Reagan fan.
--Certainly stands out in a crowd, doesn’t he?
--Now don’t say anything about him wearing that camel-riding outfit. He may dress a little funny, but he’s a great guy, and he’s a cash cow for us.
--Oh, yeah, he’s practically an ATM. Every time he turns around he’s shelling out a grand for one of our guys in Congress.
--What are we doing for him?
--No special favors. All he wants is access, to know what’s going on, hear the insider stuff around the Hill. But I do know they just made him a National Republican Senatorial Committee "Inner Circle Member for Life."
--No kidding. He gets consulted on who we run for Senate?
--Sure. He put up the cash, didn’t he? And we just put him on our White House Business Advisory Committee, too.
--Hm! What line of business is he in?
--I dunno…something to do with security, I think. Oh I remember—he checks IDs, makes IDs, that sort of thing. And he’s into some foreign stuff, too. I heard he invested in some kind of camp for kids in Pakistan, Afghanistan, something like that.
--Really. Sounds like a nice guy.
--He’s a prince of a fella. We all love him around here.
--Must have a tough time getting on an airplane in that outfit, though.
--Oh, he flies all the time.
--I guess so. Every time I’m in his office to pick up a contribution he’s got all the airline schedules out on his desk. Big charts on the wall with maps of the world, little pins stuck in ‘em everywhere. Mike knows what he’s doing. Plus he’s loaded. But he’s also very old school, he doesn’t just throw money around. He’s very frugal. I caught him fixing his own shoes, once.
--Last time I dropped by I caught him trying to re-sole his own shoes, stuffing some kind of plastic into them to patch them up. Seemed a little embarrassed when I walked in and caught him at it. He put them away real quick. (sips drink) You want me to introduce you?
--Sure, why not.
--No “terrorist” jokes about his outfit, though, he’s very sensitive about that.
--Don’t worry. (downs his martini)
--Yeah. And remember now--even though he’s got an Irish name--he’s Muslim.
--Well, it’s got be more fun than talking to another one of those goddamn evangelicals.