Giuliani: Duh, I Shoulda Went To Dose Iraq Study Group Meetin's

Giuliani: Joining Iraq Study Group a mistake
By MIKE GLOVER, Associated Press Writer
15 minutes ago

DES MOINES, Iowa - Republican presidential contender Rudy Giuliani said Wednesday it was a mistake for him to join the Iraq Study Group, on which he lasted just two months and failed to show for any official meetings. The former New York mayor has tried to tamp down criticism in recent days after Newsday reported that Giuliani was a no-show for two of the group's meetings and instead attended paid public appearances.

And now: into the time machine! Set the TARDIS for the year…2010!

WHOOSH!

WASHINGTON--President Rudy Giuliani said today that it was “a mistake” for him to accept a paid appearance as guest host of “The New ‘Price Is Right’” rather than attend last month’s Middle East Peace Summit in Cairo.

“I thought it would work,” President Giuliani said during a press conference, “But I guess it was unrealistic to think I could attend the summit and do the show on the same day.”

YouTube footage of Middle East peace envoy Tony Blair watching Giuliani host “The Price is Right” generated more than 3 million hits last week. The video clip caught a dismayed Blair commenting: “I can’t believe that bloody ass would rather host a f-----g game show than negotiate a ceasefire. And there’s no way that bloody Cuisinart could retail for more than seventy five American dollars!”

WHOOSH!

LOS ANGELES—President Rudy Giuliani acknowledged today that it was “a mistake” for him to accept a paid guest shot on “Law And Order” to play the part of “Second Serial Killer” instead of meeting with the Kurdish Refugee Commission at the United Nations yesterday.

“Mistakes were made. But the money was just too good to turn down,” Giuliani told representatives of Entertainment Tonight. “And they gave me my own trailer. And that Kurdish refugee thing is a no-win, career-wise, let’s face it...”

WHOOSH!

HELSINKI—At the Five Power Conference in Helsinki yesterday, President Rudy Giuliani offered apologies to Supreme Dictator of All The Russias Vladimir Putin. Giuliani admitted that he had made “a mistake” in choosing to appear as a clown at a local children’s party rather than traveling to Moscow to negotiate Russian participation in policing the recent Taliban resurgence in Afghanistan.

“The Supreme Dictator was very understanding,” Giuliani told reporters as he removed his makeup and large shoes. “He has personal appearances to do, too—and with the world economy in the shape it’s in, none of us can afford to turn down that extra dough to attend some policy thing that may or may not end up going anywhere.”

The President also announced that Putin had made him a lucrative offer to co-host an upcoming segment of “Chechnya’s Next Top Model.” Giuliani stated that he could not formally accept unless he could get out of “some Sunni-Shi’ia nuclear proliferation thing he had penciled in next week.”