Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Oh, Look, How Nice, A Video Game Set In A Beautiful Old Cathedral--AGHHH!

Cathedral shootout game under fire
POSTED: 10:14 a.m. EDT, June 10, 2007

LONDON, England (AP) -- The Church of England accused Sony on Saturday of using a cathedral in Britain as the backdrop to a violent computer game, and said it should be withdrawn from shop shelves.

The church said Sony did not ask for permission to use Manchester Cathedral and demanded an apology.

The popular new PlayStation 3 game, "Resistance: Fall of Man," shows a virtual shootout between rival gunmen with hundreds of people killed inside the cathedral. Church officials described Sony's alleged use of the building as "sick" and sacrilegious.

Not only that, it turns out that Manchester has also been the site of several shooting incidents in recent years, some involving the deaths of children.

A mere oversight by Sony’s game designers, or deliberate exploitation of anti-social tendencies? To make that call, I think you have to look at the titles of other soon-to-be released video games:

“Vatican Bloodbath” (“The College of Cardinals has become “possessed” by demons! Your mission: wipe ‘em out, with a fantastic array of state-of-the-art ordinance! Gain points by taking out the Church hierarchy, lose points every time you accidentally blow up an art treasure instead. And look out for the Pope! One bite from his deadly fangs and you’re toast, pilgrim!”)

“Jerusalemaniacs!” (“Here’s your chance to put a few more “holes” in the “Holy Land,” kid! Arabs, Jews, Christians—to you, they’re all just Uzi-bait! They’ve all got to go, let God sort ‘em out! Their petty, bloody religious squabbles will seem like a week in charm school—after you show up on the scene to deal out death regardless of race, creed or color! Superb 3-D renderings of Temple Mount, Dome of the Rock, Wailing Wall—you’ll give ‘em something to wail about! But look out for the Israeli Tourism Minister—one bite from his deadly fangs and you’re hummus, pal!”)

“Oval Office Doom” (You’re a heavily armed psychotic paranoid, and a black helicopter drops you off on the White House lawn—where you have to shoot your way past dozens of kamikaze Secret Service agents to penetrate the West Wing! If you make it that far (and we doubt you can): your target is—the President of the United States! He’s been infected with a dreaded “Zombie Virus” and vowed to our nation into the “Undead States of America!” But be careful—one bite from his deadly fangs and you’re U.S. history, dude!”)

“Walter Reed Hospital: The Final Conflict” It’s a MADHOUSE! A MADHOUSE! A 3-D virtual disgrace to the United States, when mindless budget cuts and just-plain-not-giving-a-shit cause the nation’s premier medical center for veterans to become overrun by giant cockroaches and hordes of rats! Administration flaks scramble frantically among the vermin, doing media spin control and looking for the next fall guy. Help our hospitalized veterans take their revenge! But watch out for that hospital food—one bite of that bullshit jello cancels out all your anti-depressants, amigo!”

Hmm. I don’t know about you, but I think at least some of this represents a serious lapse in good taste.



At 1:33 PM, Blogger twitchy said...

I've played these games! THEY'RE IN BETA - I got drunk with some developer at CES and he spilled the beans - a real gamer wouldn't have - - - sign me, the davinci code monkey haha

p.s. you're a genius, you gotta link up with others, to get those comment sections SMOKIN'

At 6:28 PM, Blogger Prendergast said...

Yeah, that's what everybody says--genius. So how come I'm still eating Beefaroni and sleeping on the floor?

A lot of people find this stuff offensive, you know. Thanks for writing.


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