Are YOU Christian Enough For Sam Brownback?

Brownback camp reprimands aide for e mail questioning Mormonism

By Hope Yen, Associated Press

WASHINGTON – An aide to GOP presidential candidate Sam Brownback has been reprimanded for sending e-mail to Iowa Republican leaders in an apparent attempt to draw unfavorable scrutiny to rival Mitt Romney's Mormonism.

Emma Nemecek, the southeastern Iowa field director for Brownback's presidential campaign and a former state representative candidate, violated campaign policy when she forwarded the June 6 e-mail from an interest group raising the questions, the Brownback campaign said Sunday.

The e-mail requested help in fact-checking a series of statements about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Among the statements: "Theologically, the only thing Christianity and the LDS church has in common is the name of Jesus Christ, and the LDS Jesus is not the same Jesus of the Christian faith" and "The LDS church has never been accepted by the Christian Council of Churches."

Well, at least Brownback answers his email. But you see where this whole “sectarian religious belief is now a political issue” thing is going?

--Hello, Brownback “Who is more Christian” Hotline, how can I help you?

--Yes, I’m just calling to check up on this whole “Romney’s a Mormon” thing.

--Good for you. What did you want to know?

--Well, how many wives does Romney have? His religion permits him to have more than one wife, doesn’t it?

--That’s absolutely correct, even though it is illegal. But Governor Romney only has one wife—so far.

--So far?

--Yes. If Governor Romney gets the GOP nomination and goes on to the White House—well, all I’m gonna say is, we could be talkin’ “First Ladies” here.

--Wow! But aren’t Mormons Christians?

--They’re not “real” Christians. They say they worship Christ, but it’s not the same Christ that we worship. It’s some kind of Christ from Utah or something they worship. It’s weird.

--Okay. Thanks for straightening me out.

--You’re welcome, and remember to vote! (punches button) Hello, Brownback “Who is more Christian” Hotline, how can I help you?

--How about McCain, is he a Christian?

--Not in the commonly accepted sense of the word. He goes through the motions at election time, but he’s said some very critical things about Christian political leaders, so the answer would have to be no.

--Hasn’t he made up with the Religious Right?

--We'll be the judge of that. Have a nice day, and remember to vote! (punches button) Hello, Brownback “Who is more Christian” Hotline, how can I help you?

--Yes, I have a question about Joe Lieberman—

--Not Jewish enough. (punches button) Hello, Brownback “Who is more Christian” Hotline, how can I help you?

--Yes, about Senator Brownback—he’s a Roman Catholic, isn’t he?

--Is this you again, Governor Romney?

--N-no, I was just calling in to find out if—

--Oh, okay then. Yes, Senator Brownback is a Roman Catholic, have you got a problem with that?

--N-no, but I—

--Okay, Senator Brownback is a Catholic, but he’s from Kansas. Big difference. He became a Catholic in 2002 as a career move. He has regular meetings with evangelical broadcasters to make sure his particular Catholicism is entirely acceptable to true Christianity. And as you know, Catholicism has been grandfathered in as Christianity by Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family. And Pat Robertson says this new Pope might play ball.

--Wasn’t the guy who converted Brownback to Catholicism with the Opus Dei? Because I saw “The DaVinci Code” and there was this scary albino guy who—

--What are you, some kind of religious bigot or something? Because we here at the Brownback campaign won’t tolerate that sort of thing, you know. (hangs up) Jesus. Some people.