Saturday, July 14, 2007

McCain Campaign Chair: "Prostitute? What? Where am I?

Oh no... a day after four top officials resign from the Hindenburg—I mean, the McCain campaign--his campaign chairman in Florida gets busted for soliciting prostitution...

McCain campaign official denies soliciting for prostitution

(CNN) -- A day after four of Sen. John McCain's top political strategists stepped down, the co-chairman of his Florida campaign was arrested Wednesday for allegedly offering an undercover police officer money for a sex act, Titusville police said.

(Okay, time to do damage control. Was it a male undercover police officer, or a female? Not that there’s anything wrong with it, we just need to know for the evangelical voters in Florida...)

Rep. Bob Allen leaves the Brevard County, Florida, jail Wednesday night after his arrest.

Florida state Rep. Bob Allen faces charges of solicitation for prostitution after he was arrested in a Titusville city park that had been under surveillance, police said.

He allegedly offered an undercover police officer $20 for the unspecified act.

(Twenty dollars? Where did the McCain people come up with that kind of dough, all of a sudden?)

Allen told CNN affiliate WFTV the incident was "a very big misunderstanding."

"This is a very gross mistake, a very big mistake," he said, adding that this is what the judicial system is for.

(For busting Republicans looking for hookers??? There must be more to the judicial system than that--)

Allen said he helped build the park, and was there looking around.

I could see that happening...he was just looking’s within the realm of possibility... taking a walk around the park at night, you want to see what it’s like, now that it’s completed, if for the park you approved is working out—what the attendance is like here, in the evenings. Very nice, very nice trees... yes, there’s the swing set, just where it should be, all well and good...You see an attractive young thing—well, here’s a citizen enjoying the park in the evening, that’s very heartening. Think I’ll strike up a conversation...who knows, maybe this citizen is a McCain supporter.

“Hi! Enjoying the park? Good, good...say—Maybe we could go somewhere and I could introduce you to a little thing I call “the Straight Talk Express.” I feel that that the “surge” is working, are you interested in the “surge”? Really? How much?”

Hmm. This citizen is misunderstanding. I’ll show this citizen my campaign credentials, reach into the old pants pocket for my wallet—OH! A twenty dollar bill fell out, that’s embarrassing—I’ll just pick it up. Huh? Oh, no, I wasn’t offering YOU twenty dollars, no way, I’m a happily married man, I just happen to be out in the middle of the park at night, looking around—you’re a what? An undercover—hey, what is this—hey you guys, let go of me, Prosti-what? That’s ridiculous, I’m a state representative, I’m a Republican campaign chairman, I’m not out to screw anybody—hey, don’t handcuff me! I’m with the McCain campaign, HEY! Gimme that twenty back, we need that money—“

Music: “Bad boys, bad boys/whatcha gonna do/whatcha gonna do when they come for you” (etc.)

Now tell the truth--who among us has this NOT happened to, guys? It seems like every time I’m in a park taking a look around these days, I’m getting busted for offering an undercover police officer twenty bucks for an unspecified sex act. Total misunderstanding, happens every day.

For God’s sake, when will this madness stop? It should help McCain in Louisiana, though.

UPDATE: It has now been revealed that the "undercover cop"/prostitute Allen approached was indeed a male. This is what happens when you write to deadline. I've taken out the gender specific language, in light of these new developments.

But I will say this. Allen allegedly wanted to blow this cop, and offered him twenty bucks. That's disgusting. Senator Vitter (R-LA) was paying that DC madame $275 an hour for a female hooker. Twenty bucks to blow a cop is ridiculous; an insult to the thin blue line that protects us every day. Citizens like Allen should consider it a privilege to blow a cop; the rates should at least be competitive. What is happening to America?



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