Bush Last Gasp On Immigration: "Out With People!"

Time Running Out for Bush on Immigration

Jun 27, 1:17 PM EDT

By BEN FELLER

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush, short on political capital and time, is devoting much of what's left of his term in office to getting an immigration deal.

Starting with an April 9 speech in Arizona, in which he talked tough about border security and prodded Congress to get moving, Bush has staged a dozen immigration events. That's not counting his four radio addresses on the topic in that time, or his phone calls to lawmakers, or his bold prediction that he'd see reporters at the bill-signing for a bill that seemed dead.

And just what are these “immigration events” that Bush has been staging to keep xenophobic white conservatives and “cheap labor,” union-busting GOP businessmen from killing off his immigration policy?

Well, perhaps the most ambitious event is his proposal for “Out With People!”, an upbeat, positive traveling musical show featuring an international cast of nearly twelve million illegal immigrants now living in the USA.

The “Out With People!” plan calls for the creation of a federally-funded international troupe composed mostly of former residents of Central America, mainly from Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. These millions will sing and perform all around the United States in an effort to convince local racists and Republicans that they are “non-threatening” and only mildly annoying.

More than two million illegal immigrants are already undergoing training at former Army bases in Southern California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas. Trainees are taken by bus or truck to the bases, where they are issued conservative casual wear, including dress slacks and “Out With People!” sweaters. They then begin an intensive four week basic training course in singing and choreographed dancing. Since most of the cast are not native speakers of English, songs are taught phonetically. Principal numbers include “We Do Work That You White Folks Won’t!”, “We Pay Taxes, Too!”, “I Want To Make Some Money And Then Return To My Homeland,” and the inspiring “Out With People!” theme song:

Out/Out With People/
Ya meet ‘em wherever ya go/
Out/Out With People/
We’re here though our wages are low/ etc.

Initial reaction from local government officials indicates that they would welcome the idea of the huge troop visiting and performing in their communities. “Twelve million immigrants coming to our little town of four thousand, that’s a hell of customer base,” said Mayor Darryl Jennings of Skeeterville, Alabama. “I guess they’ll buy out everything we have to sell when they’re here--food, water, appliances, Slim Jims, everything we got. It’s an economic boom! Just so long as they’re outta here after the weekend’s over…”

Along with performing the show, cast members will participate in civic events and assist volunteer organizations and businesses as a way to give back to the communities that host them. “We will harvest for agribusinesses, rebuild roads and infrastructure, do all the gringos’ work for them at less than minimum wage,” claims cast member Jose Rodriguez. “And we will sing and dance as we do it!”

The official “Out With People!” tour in 2008 will feature more than twelve million troupe members, who will begin their trip around the continental United States in Texas and visit a huge circle of towns and communities, first in the South, then swinging up north through the Atlantic Seaboard and New England, and then west through the Heartland to the Pacific Northwest and finally southward through California, where they will all be dumped across the Mexican border.