Friday, October 26, 2007

Waxman's Investigations are driving them NUTS!

Waxman's Oversight
Wednesday, October 24, 2007; 5:16 PM

Since the Democrats took control of Congress, House Oversight and Government Reform Committee Chairman Henry A. Waxman (D-Calif.) has been involved in virtually every major issue, from the war in Iraq to global warming, from rising prescription drug prices to allegations of White House abuse of power.

Feb. 7: Waxman summons former Iraq occupation administrator L. Paul Bremer to explain how billions of dollars in cash simply disappeared in Baghdad.

"Who in their right mind would send 363 tons of cash into a war zone?" he asks.

(“It’s easy for you to sit there and play Monday morning quarterback, Congressman. Do you know how hard it is to even *weigh* that amount of cash before dropping it into the middle of a civil war? And may I remind you once again that sanity is in the eye of the beholder--”)

Feb. 9: Waxman digs into the U.S. Coast Guard's fleet overhaul, which produced a new flagship cutter that doesn't float.

(“We’ve got thousands of boats that *do* float, and you’re zeroing in this *one* that doesn't. Oh, yeah, that’s fair. Real fair, Waxman.”)

March 2: Waxman introduces legislation to force disclosure of contributions to presidential libraries, toughen the Freedom of Information Act and rescind a Bush executive order on presidential papers.

(“Why are you even wasting our time with this? What do you want to look through a bunch of old presidential archives for? Is that a “big Saturday night,” for you, Waxman?”)

March 17: Waxman summons Valerie Plame Wilson, the former CIA officer at the heart of a four-year political furor over the Bush administration's leak of her identity. "They made you collateral damage," he tells her. "Your career was ended. Your life may have been in jeopardy, and they didn't seem to care."

(rubs thumb and forefinger together: “You know what this is, Waxman? This is the world’s smallest violin, and it’s playing a sad, sad tune for Valerie Plame. Yes, this administration blew her CIA cover when her husband reported one of the frauds that got us into this effin’ war. Are you trying to tell me that she didn’t the job was dangerous when she took it? *Grow up*!)

April 25: Waxman's committee summons the family of Pat Tillman, the NFL safety-turned-soldier-turned-casualty, to discuss how the Army painted his death in Afghanistan as heroic, despite knowledge that he was killed by friendly fire.

(“This accident wouldn’t even have made the papers if the kid wasn’t in the NFL. And you think that’s gonna make his family feel better, to learn that he was killed by his own troops? My God, don’t you have any human feelings at all, Waxman?”)

April 26: The committee approves a subpoena for Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, the former national security adviser, to answer questions surrounding forged documents attesting to Saddam Hussein's attempt to purchase uranium "yellowcake" from Niger.

(“You’re calling Condoleeza Rice down to answer questions about national security? HA! That shows how little you really know about how this administration works, Congressman. What a joke.”)

May 4: Waxman weighs in on crop insurance, as the House considers a massive farm bill.
"Over $8 billion in taxpayer funds have been squandered in excess payments to insurers and other middlemen" since 2000, he says. The House-passed bill cut billions from the program.

(“What, now “middlemen” don’t have to eat, Waxman? Middlemen are the financial backbone of this country, Congressman. One family’s “squandered $8 billion dollars in taxpayer funds” is another family’s beach house and second BMW, I think you’re forgetting that, Waxman.”)

May 13: Oversight Committee investigators release new tabulations showing private insurers in the new Medicare prescription drug program losing their leverage over drug manufacturers and prescription inflation.

(“That’s big news to you, prices for prescriptions are too high? How much of our money did you spend to find *that* out, Waxman? Any little old lady could have told you that for free!”)

June 7: John B. Buse of the University of North Carolina Medical School tells the Oversight Committee that officials at SmithKline Beecham intimidated him when he raised alarms about the safety of the company's diabetes drug Avandia..."post-market studies have not been done to say conclusively whether Avandia increases or decreases the risks of heart attacks. That's a major failure of our system," Waxman says.

(“Oh, help, I’m intimidated, oh, I’m a victim, somebody somewhere might have a heart attack because we didn’t do enough testing—My God, what is happening to this country? Do you think that Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone and John Wayne ran around like chickens with their heads cut off, because there wasn’t enough testing going on? “Testing, testing, we need more testing before we settle the Old West.” Jesus H. Christ, Waxman—“)

June 14: Waxman summons General Services Administration chief Lurita Alexis Doan to respond to an allegation that, at the conclusion of a White House presentation to GSA political appointees about the November 2006 elections, she asked how they could "help our candidates."

"I don't see any other course of action that will protect the interests of your agency and the federal taxpayer," he tells her. "I would urge you to resign."

(“Congressman, don’t you realize that this woman wouldn’t even *have* a job if it weren’t for political cronyism? And if we're in the business of urging people to resign, all of the sudden, then I would urge *you* to resign, Waxman, how do you like that? How does that make *you* feel, when I say that to *you?*)

June 22: Waxman blasts Vice President Cheney's refusal to comply with an executive order governing the handling of classified information. "He's saying he's above the law," he says as he releases correspondence detailing the issue. "It just seems to me this is arrogant and shows bad judgment."

(“Boy... I thought it was pretty clear to even the *stupidest* observer by now, Waxman, that Vice President Cheney *is* above the law! (to the rest of the room) Do you believe this guy? (to Waxman) Get with the program, Congressman! Use your mentality, wake up to reality.”

Late June: Waxman writes to White House Counsel Fred F. Fielding, saying senior presidential adviser Karl Rove's "deliberate or negligent disclosure" of classified information should disqualify him from a security clearance.

(“That’s rampant bullshit, Waxman! No one can keep a secret like Karl Rove, when he wants to. You’d know how stupid your position is, if you knew all the serious crime shit he's sitting on *at this very minute!*”)

July 11: After former surgeon general Richard H. Carmona says Bush administration officials interfered with his work, Waxman weighs in: "We shouldn't allow the surgeon general to be politicized. . . . It is the doctor to the nation. That person needs to have credibility, independence and to speak about science."

(“Oh, good’re mad that we’re suppressing medical and scientific findings because they conflict with our political agenda? Let me ask you something, Waxman—in your wildest fantasies, do you even dream that *your* doctor is telling you *every little thing* about your health? Most of us wouldn’t even *understand* half that shit! We’re not in the business of adding to people’s worries, Congressman. It’s the Office of the Surgeon General, not the Office of INCESSANT FEAR!”)

July 18: Waxman releases documents indicating that White House officials arranged for top officials at the Office of National Drug Control Policy to help as many as 18 vulnerable Republicans with their reelections.

(“It’s people...HELPING...other people. Is that so wrong, Waxman? Is that really *so* wrong, people helping other people? That’s what this administration is here to *do!* That’s compassionate conservatism in a nutshell! Is that what you’re against, now? Compassion?”)

On the same day, Waxman finally extracts documents on the energy industry's role in Cheney's energy task force, after a six-year struggle.

(“There! There it is, ya happy? You got some six year old documents about how Cheney let the oil people write the nation’s energy policy. After six years, you finally got it. There’ll be biiiiggg celebrating among the Waxmen of the world, tonight I bet. Whoopee! (makes “pop!” noise by putting finger in mouth and popping lip.) And I hope you're happy, because guess what, buster—that policy you’ve been demanding is now *six years out of date.* Whatta a biiiggg victory...)

July 20: Waxman reveals that the Federal Emergency Management Agency had suppressed warnings since early 2006 about health problems experienced by Hurricane Katrina victims living in FEMA-provided trailers with levels of formaldehyde 75 times the recommended maximum.

(“Oh shut up, Waxman. After the way we handled that disaster, those people are lucky to be alive, and they damn well know it! A little more formaldehyde than usual is a like a cold beer on hot day, compared to what these poor bastards have been through. And I’ll tell you another thing, smartass—formaldehyde isn’t destructive, it’s a PRESERVATIVE. Come on, what else you got? You got nuthin', Waxman. Nuthin'”)

And the article about all of Waxman's work goes on and on and on...hey, where can I get a Congressman like this Waxman guy?



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