Which GOP candidate is the most conservative?

Answer: None of them are real conservatives, so why debate it?

It's sort of like hearing a bunch of worms debate about who is the most "snake-like." But that didn't stop them from debating the question.

GOP rivals argue who's most conservative

By H. JOSEF HEBERT, Associated Press Writer Sun Oct 21, 1:27 PM ET

WASHINGTON - Republican presidential candidates vied Sunday over who is the real conservative, ahead of an evening debate in Florida where they hoped to put their conservative credentials on display.

Sen. John McCain of Arizona said he is the conservative with the best chance of defeating Democratic front-runner Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, a claim often made by former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani. GOP rival Mitt Romney, meanwhile, deflected charges that he has flip-flopped on abortion and other social issues important to religious conservatives...

..McCain chided Romney, the former Massachusetts governor, for changing his views on issues "with the political season," embracing liberal positions when running for office in Massachusetts and more conservative ones now.

(...And McCain doesn't do that; doesn't shift with the season? He's a Newt Gingrich/Rush Limbaugh Republican all of the sudden? That's got to be news to Newt and Rush.)

Romney "basically has changed positions on every .. on many major issues" to appear more conservative, said McCain on "Fox News Sunday."

"Look, you can't con the voters," McCain said. "If you want to win their respect, you've got to give them your respect."

(I disagree. I think you can con the voters. Look who's president, and how he got there.)

But Mike Huckabee, the former Arkansas governor and one-time Baptist preacher who has gained some ground in the GOP race, said McCain has a "solid record" on many of these issues, but that his conservative credentials are more real than those of the other candidates.

(He is isn't a Gingrich/Limbaugh conservative, either. He's in bed with the evangelical right.)

While not naming Romney, Huckabee, a sentimental favorite among religious conservatives (whoomp,there it is! "sentimental favorite" means the evangelical political movement(EPM) would *like* to support him, but doesn't think he has hope in hell of winning), said: "I'm a conservative that hasn't had but one position on a lot of key issues. ... Nobody's going to find some YouTube moments of me saying something radically different than what I'm saying today," a reference to the popular video-sharing Web site.

(YouTube--doing what the mainstream media won't--tracking flip flops in candidate positions. Props, from Huckabee!)

The GOP candidates were meeting later in the evening for a debate in Orlando, Fla., sponsored by the state Republican Party and televised by Fox News Channel.

Their degree of conservatism was expected to be one of many topics discussed during the 90-minute debate, being held at the same time as the deciding game in the American League championship series between the Boston Red Sox and the Cleveland Indians.

(There are probably more real conservatives on the Cleveland Indians. That's why I expect the game to swamp the latest debate in the ratings.)

McCain on Sunday defended his position on immigration, including amnesty for those in the country illegally, and his push for campaign finance reform. GOP conservatives have criticized him on both issues. He maintained that Romney held "the exact same positions ... 18 months ago."

("Sure, I'm an asshole in the eyes of conservatives on these issues. But *this* guy was, too. And at least I have the courage to stand by my liberal views, while at the same time claiming that I'm a conservative.")

A bunch of worms, claiming to be snakes, because they can't get to the White House without the snake vote. The irony is that this is the first time in decades that a *genuine* snake isn't doing well enough in the GOP polls to win the nomination.

Snakes everywhere would make better use of their time by watching the ball game.